Beware of Talking Snakes
by Captain Kork
Summary: Ginny Weasley, international Quidditch star and daredevil extraordinaire thought that nothing of interest could come from a family outing to the zoo. Of course, with her son and boyfriend along for the ride she could never be so lucky. Or in which all of the Potter children are Parselmouths and Ginny isn't sure what she did to deserve this.


**So, so, if you know me on tumblr or talk to me at all then you know that I don't really like the Epilogue. My friends know I have an entire alternate storyline planned out for Hinny and associates. This fic is the first in a series of me attempting to actually write this alternate storyline out. Also, before anyone messages me, Harry and Ginny are _not_ married yet in this which will be explained at a different point as that's been a running joke between me and a friend for a while.**

**Warnings: **some cursing, snakes if you're afraid of them, toddlers because those things are pains (trust me I'm living with one)

**Disclaimer: **Obviously anything you recognize I don't own.

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><p>Ginny had never actually been to a traditional zoo before. She had always thought it sounded rather boring- watching animals sleep in confined spaces was rather anticlimactic considering most of her experiences with dangerous animals involved Luna, Hagrid, or more recently Harry. Especially after the last incident with the wendigo when they went to visit the States.<p>

Overall though, the trip to the zoo was surprisingly pleasant, even if it was significantly more low-key than she would have liked. Of course, despite how much she'd rather face the danger head on than do something as boring as look at in from behind the glass, bringing a baby face to face with a giant snake without it wasn't the greatest idea.

"'Nake! 'Nake!" James exclaimed loudly, bouncing in Ginny's arms as he extended a handful of slobbery fingers at the glass. The redhead grinned and nuzzled her son's cheek as they moved closer to the display, but being careful to make sure James couldn't touch the dirty glass. It was in that moment she was happy for the glass, as the snake looked like it could swallow the toddler whole without even unhinging its jaw.

"Yes, it's a snake. Good job!" she praised her child, who clapped his hands together happily, "What sound does a snake make?" James let out a garbled hissing sound as the snake raised its head into the air lazily, eyeing the child. Ginny was a little put out by the sight but it served only to excite the toddler more as his weird hissing got louder and more distorted.

"Maybe this is our sign that our son will be in Slytherin?" Ginny jumped at Harry's voice, jostling James but before the baby could get upset at the movement he spotted his father. He squealed happily and tried to grab at his father's shiny, if slightly dented, watch.

"Don't do that, you tosser!" she huffed, accepting the water bottle he held out to her with a scowl.

"Dosser!" James repeated happily, kicking his legs again and it was only from years of Quidditch games and having 6 older brothers that she didn't react to the pain.

"That one is on you," Harry pointed out with a grin as his son held his arms out for him once more. He swung the toddler out of his mother's arms as James gave a delighted shriek at the sudden movement.

"Yeah, whatever Potter, you're still a tosser," Ginny told him with less heat than she intended, rolling her eyes fondly.

"It'll be your mouth that Molly fills with suds," he pointed out before turning his fully attention to the happily squirming James, "You like the snake, Jamie?" he all but cooed and she finally let a smile come back onto her face at the pure adoration in her boyfriend's eyes.

"'Nake!" James yelled again before the garbled hissing came out again. Harry looked amused and glanced over Ginny's shoulder to look at the snake with a fond eye.

"He really likes the snake," the Boy Who Lived mused aloud, earning a hum of agreement from his girlfriend, "It's lucky his accidental magic isn't that strong yet, or else he might accidentally disappear the glass like I did when I was 10."

"You what?" Ginny asked, a grin tugging at her lips. He shrugged carelessly, grinning back.

"Yeah, accidentally set a snake on my cousin," he said, reminiscing, "My aunt and uncle were _so_ pissed." Ginny snorted, covering her hand with her mouth suddenly.

"I really shouldn't laugh," she said, "But that must have been a sight to see." She snorted again, louder the next time and it caught James's attention. He looked back at her and made a snorting noise. "Did mommy make a funny noise?" She asked, tickling his stomach before turning her attention back to her boyfriend. "You have a point though, it would completely defeat the point of taking James's out on a nice, _safe_ adventure."

"It would be entertaining though," Harry pointed out and Ginny covered her mouth again, trying to hide her grin.

"Mum would be pissed," she responded.

"Like that has ever stopped you," Harry laughed. James hissed happily and Ginny finally let herself laugh freely.

"You keep making all of those hissing noises, you're going to turn into a snake," she told her son, poking his stomach. Harry stared at her in growing confusion.

"Ginny, what are you talking about?" he asked and she raised an eyebrow at him, "He hasn't been hissing the whole time I've been here."

"What?" the redhead queried back, furrowing her eyebrows, "He's been making hissing noises off and on for the past 5 minutes." James hissed happily, patting his mother's arm. "See- he did it again!"

Harry didn't look so sure, "Gin, he's been saying 'momma' to you for the past minute."

"No, he hasn't," Ginny replied rather forcefully, becoming worried for her boyfriend. He stared at her, then at James, and was about to say something before his eyes shot up to look over her shoulder. When James had realized that his mother was ignoring him, he had turned his attention back to the snake. Said snake was now raising its head lazily, and flickering its tongue at the toddler.

"Ginny," Harry said rather faintly as he put two and two together, "I think our son's a Parselmouth."

"What?" Ginny asked, blinking like she had just had a camera flashed right in front of her eyes. She looked down at her baby and then back at the snake before turning to stare at Harry again. "I thought you had lost that ability."

"Theoretically, I said I had lost the ability," Harry pointed out, "Hermione and I assumed it was gone since Tom's soul is but I had never tested it out."

"Hermione let you get away with not testing it out?" she responded, momentarily distracted, "That's beside the point- are you absolutely sure?"

"Well it sure sounds like he's trying to speak it at least," the dark haired man said, running a hand through his hair while keeping a firm grip on the increasingly fussy James now that he no longer had his father's full attention. "It sounds like his normal baby talk to me, and the snake behind you definitely understands him. Well at least as well as anyone can understand a baby." Ginny didn't know what to say to that, still staring at her boyfriend.

"Dammit, Potter, you can't have a normal kid can you," she groaned finally and Harry rolled his eyes at her.

"Dammit!" James proclaimed and was very satisfied to find that he now had both of his parents' attention.

"At least I'm not teaching him curse words."


End file.
